When I left the last job I ever had it wasn't all dreams and revelations, there were other factors too. When I first got that job I really enjoyed it, I was learning new things, meeting new people and my co-workers were not only really smart, but also fun people. After time went on there was nothing left to learn, I could almost feel my brain beginning to rot. It was the same problems, the same questions, the same thing every day and it was driving me insane.
Have you ever heard of atrophy? This is when you don't exercise your muscles and the body decides that it doesn't need to waste resources supporting all these cells that aren't being used so it begins to destroy the unused muscle. I feel that the brain is the same way, I believe this is where Alzheimers comes into play. People who've essentially worked the same job for 50-60 years, never learn anything new and never given the opportunity to make their own decisions so the body decides that it no longer needs to waste resources on all these unused neurons and begins to destroy them. I suppose it's use it or lose it, I knew I was losing mine and something had to be done.
Moreover so depressed by the monotony and angered by the verbal abuse from 'clients' I used alcohol to forget my woes. I actually voluntarily went to a rehab clinic to ask a few questions because I thought I might be an alcoholic. I was told that I wasn't an alcoholic, but instead a normal twenty something, but that I did display some warning signs that could easily lead to alcoholism. Signs such as drinking virtually every night and occasionally drinking alone in my apartment just to get drunk.
I have a friend who I used to work with at one point and the two of us were very similar. A smart guy whose talents went completely under utilized at work. I left and while I don't see the problem in having a few drinks from time to time I haven't had a drink in years, I have no pain to drain away. Now years later that friend of mine, well he's a die hard alcoholic. Can't even hold a conversation with him anymore. He's never not drunk and the only time he doesn't have a beverage in his hand is when he sleeps, well passes out anyway. He told me of how he hated his job and he even brought vodka with him to work, drank in his car on breaks, but he sees no way out. He's dead now, not literally, but the man I once knew certainly does not exist.
You know they say tobacco is unhealthy, but in all my years I have found nothing unhealthier than the jobs they have. It leads to so many problems from drug and alcohol abuse to verbal and physical violence. They tell you not to kill each other and then they force you into a place that makes you want to kill each other.
It really doesn't matter if I die on the streets some day soon or not. What little of my life I was able to live after leaving that hell was more than I ever would have if I had stayed behind.
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